i try to be posh but i am just a spaz… possibly a posh spaz.

sometimes i think my voice on my blog is disappearing. it’s been years now. and i have spoken on here in so many ways. at first sort of mysterious, because what else could it be. then background and manifestos and policies and values and explanations. with information about why i care about handmade and the internet and individuality and the herd and sustainablity. and also really sharing other DIY creators that i loved. then i felt the mystery was gone, i had said too much, i had shared too many images of my personal life too. and i got quiet. so i focused on posting my SWANclothing creations. i posted images of things i loved. i tried to find a balance between personal and business sharing, i let the latter create boundaries for the first. but i also hesitated to take all the guts and blurts of my crazy life out of this, so i didn’t. i moved away from craft a bit, i moved towards fashion. where do i fit? how do i fit? i wondered. and wandered. and sewed. and then i found some place in the middle of fashion and craft and thrift and shiny bright new thing lust and technology. so here i am.

and you?

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i totally know what you’re on about! in just doing the day-to-day polka i watch a lot of time slip by but i still have a fluid relationship with my online presence. who am i? how much can anyone glean without eventually just looking in a mirror? how obtuse can a metaphor be before it no longer makes any sense? you’re barking up the right tree sdr. soon hangouts and fraft crashion schemes!

sjw    15 October 09    #

hot dogness! i so look forward to it :) and thanks for amazing insightful gettin’ it comment. you rule. being on here has been the most transformative, intimate but often alienting thing i have ever done. i am learning and learning. xo to you!

SwanDiamondRose    15 October 09    #

oh yes, i know this…in the beginning i put a lot of thought in my posts, then it got clouded with all the other things that was going on, and somehow i got lost. but trying to come back, even if it means being a bit more vulnerable.

jennine    15 October 09    #

ya, i’m bringing me back. but also reassessing what i want to keep and trying to respect what i have. i love my blog and am going to keep tending it. all my other social network sites too. will be evolving the SWANclothing situation a bit. addressing uniqueness, customization, and sustainablity. but throughout that will keep posting new work.

thanks for your comment jennine :)

SwanDiamondRose    15 October 09    #

similar thoughts galore. my own blog persona has given me headaches as of late and i feel lost, like you. i find publicity daunting, but feel the pressure to produce what is expected in order to be read – feeble content seems more often than not the result.

do i need to fit? and where?

stellagee    26 October 09    #

i like your blog! it’s smart. but i hear you re hearing me. hehe. i don’t know if i’d call your content feeble. that last entry is great for example and i’m going back to it.

SwanDiamondRose    26 October 09    #

maybe i should add, i don’t feel lost. but i did feel the need to keep readjusting as i went along. so i could sync up my various selves. it was more like, i wasn't speaking personally anymore, so that voice was getting lost.

SwanDiamondRose    26 October 09    #


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